brandius

See this turd muffin? This is my dog. Sort of. I mean, she was a...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:26:02 -0500

See this turd muffin? This is my dog. Sort of. I mean, she was a gift for my dude about a year ago. I surprised him by taking him to a shelter to adopt his own dog - and this is the rugrat he decided on. Her name is Jay Peg.

Seeing as she was a gift, I consider her his dog more than mine. I’m a step-owner at best. Yes, I feed her, take her out, give her pets, and help train her, but, that’s where it ends. After a year of living together, Jay Peg and I have developed an odd relationship.

There are days where I honestly think that I’m the Mufasa to her Scar and that she would totally chunk me off the side of a cliff into a sea of wild wildebeests if it meant that she could be able to take over Pride Rock/My Spot on the Couch.

What America Needs

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 15:23:05 -0400

Oh, thank God.

I know so many young children who have chubby, not-yet-grown-and-formed bodies that should read this. I see them running around parks, full of laughter, and think, “UGH, look at how their chubby little arms flob around!”

This book will finally dumb it down for them and let them know that they should be more aware of their body shape and how it is simply too round in today’s society. These kids should have a workout regiment and understand that their Halloween trick-or-treat candy causes unattractive weight gain.

While parents should be taking care that their fat little offspring eat their peas and carrots and understand the importance of vegetable and fruit servings, it is so much simpler to just have the kid read this book. It has pictures!

Besides, young children should be totally aware of their physical appearance at all times and whether or not society would view them as attractive because of it. Start them young! That way, as an anorexic college student with poor self-image, they will have years of experience compared to those who start college and can’t quite get the hang of overcoming hunger pangs by sucking ice cubes.

God bless America! We are certainly on the right track. Buy the book here! Or just leave a review!

I spend way too much time with these guys. (Source)

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 08:37:22 -0400

I spend way too much time with these guys.

(Source)

Seriously people?

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:45:23 -0400

It seems that the people who are negatively saying that the new half-black-half-hispanic Spiderman looks like Obama are the same people who think all black people look the same.

Of course, Im making assumptions and could be wrong. KIND OF LIKE THE PEOPLE MAKING NEGATIVE COMMENTS ABOUT BOTH A FICTIONAL COMIC CHARACTER AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

(Sorry, don’t know the source)

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 15:57:18 -0400

(Sorry, don’t know the source)

Let's Be Real

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 09:45:29 -0400

Reboots are about money. Movies, comics, games… it is all about the benjamins. Your “breathe new life into ‘X’” or “Update X for more modern times” belongs in the garbage.

If you truly believe that you are updating a story or a character for today’s audience or some other pish-poshy reason, you are kind of saying, “Hey, our original writings and developments were garbage. So, instead of fixing it, we are just going to Ctrl+z out of this shiz and start over.” At least it really, really seems that way.

Example: “Wonder Woman should wear pants and cover up to be accessible to a larger female audience! That should totally fix the poor writing we have subjected her to over the last few years. Yes. Pants. Pants will make our writing so much better. Money money money!”

You are also insulting your current audience by not learning about them or listening to them. You are ignoring them because you want NEW! fans who can give you NEW! money and won’t call you out on your BS because they don’t know any better.

I get really irritated when I think about the business side of the things I love. Money rules every single time.

This pretty much sums up my weekend. Messy hair due to 98+...

Sun, 29 May 2011 15:43:00 -0400

This pretty much sums up my weekend. Messy hair due to 98+ degree weather and humidity, comic tshirts, and bad cell phone pictures of me and Edward James Olmos.

Eddie and Bob Layton were awesome all weekend. Also? They announced their future project, Mettle. It sounds really fantastic and I hope the production goes well and that it brings new perspective to the comic community.

Eddie also announced that he has officially signed on for Dexter. His character is a professor of religion and theology and he may or may not be going for Dex.

Breaking News for Nerds

Fri, 27 May 2011 17:45:04 -0400

Studio Animetropolis has partnered with best selling author Tad Williams. The will be creating an animated feature based on William’s first novel, Tailchaser’s Song.

Yes, that book about cats is being animated.

This is why I go to comic conventions. Totally. Really. I mean, duh.

Phil Hester

Fri, 27 May 2011 11:11:55 -0400

Houston’s Comicpalooza is this weekend as a member of The Press, I will be allowed to drool all over people that I admire.

However, as I am planning out my convention schedule, I am stuck on what I should do when I approach Phil Hester.

Currently, my top choice is to run up and punch him in the face for his WonderWoman writing and then dart away crying. I feel that this may be too dramatic. Also, this is Hester we are talking about. He will probably think I am a raving WW fan who is merely PMS-ing.

This has no real point

Mon, 23 May 2011 18:28:57 -0400

For some reason, I thought life would smoothen out after the wedding. I honestly believed that somehow getting married meant I could relax, that moving in together would help relieve stress, and that somehow my job would get better.

But it didn’t work like that. After the wedding, I had this new relationship, meals to avoid cooking, a job to quit and an awesome job to acquire, a new puppy to yell at when she barks too much, and a small battle of convincing my mother that I need a vacuum for Christmas.

Weddings are great, but they usually are not going to drastically alter your day-to-day tasks. Why the hell did I think finishing my wedding would make me like my job more? If anything, it made me like it less due to me not being distracted by my bridesmaids asking what kind of shoes I think they should buy! Oh, and that whole “I’ll frame these really expensive custom invitations!” thing totally never, ever happened.

The vacuum works marvelously. Thanks, mom.

Classy as shizz, y’all.

Fri, 20 May 2011 15:06:59 -0400

Classy as shizz, y’all.

When is it ok to suck?

Fri, 20 May 2011 10:40:40 -0400

San Diego Comic-Con is hands down the most popular and richest comic convention. Every time I visit their website, I am in awe of how bad it is. As the page loads, I am teleported back to 1994 and AOL. If you listen closely, you can hear a, “You got mail!” chime, I swear!

Why don’t they spend the time and money to update their site to something amazing? Something that equals the caliber of the event?

Because they don’t friggin’ have to. You think they should spend several thousands of dollars and man hours to update a site to increase sales? No. No they do not. Their website doesn’t need to market anything.

They could change their site to be a picture of a giant pancake, the date of the event, and a “Buy now!” button and be done with it.

So, is it ok for it to suck?

This pretty much sums up my week at the office.

Tue, 17 May 2011 14:48:19 -0400

This pretty much sums up my week at the office.

My Opinions About Superman. Because You Care.

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 20:49:25 -0400

If you have not picked up a copy of Superman #900, you may want to skip this due to MASSIVE SPOILERS. Then again, it has been posted everywhere already.

In issue #900—a very topical issue—Superman renounces his American citizenship. Naturally, people have a problem with this.

While the old’n days of comics never officially stated that Superman is the American hero, you must take into account what was going on in the world when Superman was created.

Superman hit Action Comics in 1938. This was an era where people were pulling from “The Crash” and going through the depression. The people had to actively find things to find happiness in. This is a time that has marked America’s true grit and sorrow all in a few years. I encourage any American to throughly study what happened between the crash and the start of the war because it is a great view of what America is as a whole.

Superman was exalted because at the time, there was not much to be exalted. He was a symbol of hope and strength. As a comic based in America, by an America (though arted by a Canadian) he became everything that America needed at the time.

So yes, people are going to be mad. Because guess what? There was a time when having an icon and a symbol of the American people was a good thing. When patriotism as great as Superman’s was a goal to be achieved.

But you know what? The flip side of the coin is that Superman is 1) a fictional character made and worshipped by man and turned into a larger than life character and 2) HE IS FROM SPACE. FROM A MADE UP PLANET IN SPACE.

Honestly, it’s not like Captain America did it. It’s Superman. And he’s kind of a dick sometimes.

At the end of the day: Go America! And everyone needs to chill the hell out for a minute and realize what they are arguing about.

This is just my opinion. For now. It could change. I find the whole conversation interesting and enlightening. I’m loving the feedback from the community as a whole.

This is my life. This is what I do.

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:22:47 -0400

You know how you spend an evening Photoshopping a picture of the Immaculate Heart of Mary surrounded by machine guns while holding a taco and think, “THIS. This is why I got into design!”

But then your Catholic mother calls you out of the blue and that’s the end of that feel good feeling.

True or false? Discuss.

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 09:34:45 -0400

True or false?

Discuss.

Anyone else totally looking forward to the new pyramid ball...

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 08:27:19 -0400

Anyone else totally looking forward to the new pyramid ball season? My fantasy team is locked in. Go C-Buc’s!

Well, check that out! It looks like an update has FINALLY come...

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:12:41 -0400

Well, check that out! It looks like an update has FINALLY come to Comic Sans! I am so excited that it has a proper italicized version. I cannot wait for my clients to start requesting the use of this font for their designs. It’s a great day to be a designer. Let us rejoice.

BRB… Writing death threat to Vincent Connare.

Source: http://www.ascendercorp.com/pr/2010-07-06/

What have I been doing? Sheesh. Look, I am super busy. I mean, I...

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:05:55 -0400

What have I been doing? Sheesh. Look, I am super busy. I mean, I am Batman and all. But really, I got married! Imagine what I have been spending my time doing.

Being married is pretty rad. I mean, if you are into that sorta thing. My life outside of marriage involves a lot of work and catching up on my comic reading. I’ve also decided to finally admit to people that not only can I cook, I am a fantastic cook to boot. Now people are mooching off of me left and right.

On the horizon? Hopefully more awesome things in 2010. If Mr. Man says anything about getting a puppy, remind him that I said NO.

Resolutions and Goals. The Suckage.

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:22:00 -0500

Yeah, it is a new year and you are trying to be a new you and that is just fantastic because the current you totally sucks. And that smell, oh boy, do something about that smell.

A lot of people are either all talk about their new goals and resolutions or are yammering on about how resolutions are lame and/or how they always ditch them. Well, I am here to convince you to not make any new year’s…whatevers.

First off, the Gregorian calendar is jacked as hell. January 1st isn’t even the real start of a year and a year does not really last 365 days (or 366 days if it is one of those kinda years.) No, I do not have a solution to this and yes, I would much rather complain and say it is stupid.

Secondly, if you have some huge goal for the year without any actionable steps or mini-goals to hit throughout the year, then you are not going to accomplish anything other than being labeled as that person who says they will do something but never actually does anything…maybe. What do I know? You could be a go-getter. But it’s doubtful.

Third…ly, unless you have a really awesome resolution that involves something totally rad, such as, oh, I dunno, building a giant robot in the shape of a dinosaur that can fly and shoot unicorns out of its eyes, than there is a really big chance that you are boring and that your friends do not care about your resolution(s) and wish you would shut up when you tell them how you plan to blog once a week for a year.

What You Should Do:

Destroy the Gregorian calendar. I hear the Mayan’s have a sweet calendar. Supposedly there is some sort of party happening 2012. I think it is what that movie “House Party” is based off of.
Order a pizza from the internet. That shiz is crazy, you guys! Oh man, when I saw that Domino’s pizza tracker said, “Jesus is making your pizza,” I totally flipped out. JESUS PIZZA.

I just made your new year rock. You are welcome.